Hospitality Gone Wrong

tis the season to be hospitable...

One of the things I love most Christmas is we tend to be more open and welcoming to family and friends than any other time of the year. We blow up air mattresses for out of town guests, we bake, we clean, we decorate, and we host. 

All this is good!

Sometimes we tend to think of hospitality as a character trait only for those with natural Martha Stewart-like capabilities, but its not, its for us too! Whether we have Martha Stewart capabilities or not.

Romans 12:13 "...seek to show hospitality."

1 Peter 4:9 "Show hospitality to one another..." BUT THERE IS A CATCH

What is hospitality?

The definition I like the most reads "providing a soft place to land in a world that is often hard to take."

The Bible speaks of hospitality several times and encourages us to practice hospitality especially to those who being to what Galations 6:20 calls "the household of faith."--->  other Christians.

Lets get real though, the cookies don't bake themselves, guests make messes, they upset routines and I am the Queen of Routine. They give us the overwhelming urge to dust baseboards. Christmas parties and dinners take a lot of time, money, and effort. Martha Stewart makes it look easy.

I don't know about you but as I seek to be more hospitable to others I tend to be inhospitable toward members of my own family. I bark orders to my husband, I sigh heavily at the false pretense that no one but me is doing any of the work. I grumble about money spent, the time invested, the floors that need swept.

1 Peter 4:9 "Show hospitality to one another without grumbling" 

TOLD YOU THERE WAS A CATCH

When I make my home an inhospitable environment(hostile, cold, unwelcoming) for the people I love most in order to make it welcoming to others I am missing God's heart for hospitality. 

Yes, invite people over to your home. Yes, provide warm meals. Yes, create a soft spot for others to land, but do it without grumbling.

A peaceful home flows out of a peaceful heart.

Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that form the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is a great mantra for the holiday season if you're looking for one.

The goal of hospitality is not to win a prize for cleanest home, best meal, or coziest bed.

The goal is to demonstrate Christ's love in practical and tangible ways, Since He is the One we are ultimately serving, in order to demonstrate true hospitality. 

But before we go looking for a family member to take in or a charity to donate our time and money to lets start with those closest to you. 

How can you demonstrate hospitality to your husband, your children, your co-workers? Do that confidently  first!

Give with a happy heart!

A store bough pie served with a smile is of much greater value than a homemade one made through gritted teeth.

Don't work to earn gold stars and "oohs" and "aaahs" this year

Work to put Christ on display.

10 Prayers to pray for your Children, in the womb or out!

As our little ones arrival gets closer and closer we've found ourselves spending more time in here. Specifically my quiet time, as he's now become a huge portion of our prayer life (I feel certain this will remain the same for the rest of our lives). I was reading recently in Proverbs 31, an extremely popular passage for woman, but I find myself always adding that on to anything I'm currently reading and I have verses from that chapter written in several places to remind me of how I so desperately want to be like this woman. I know we all slip up sometimes, but I can't help but fervently pray that I always strive to be a woman of Nobel character for both my husband and now my son. That's tough and scary though. What if I'm not? What happens when I fall short? Let's be real, I know without HIM I will always fall short, but man isn't it awesome knowing that HE already knows that and still loves us? I sit in my sweet boys room and beg Him to mold me into the mother my son needs and the wife my husband requires and everytime I do I feel so undeserving of what gifts I've been given, what an opportunity I have to be a gracious wife and to be a nurturing mother. I pray I never forgot that for even a second. David and I prayed for our son before he was ever a little grey scaled figure on an ultrasound screen. I so encourage you if you don't have children yet or your not even married, pray for your future spouse, pray for your one day children! Pray for the children in your womb and pray for the ones holding your hand. I'm sharing a few of the prayers we have prayed for our little one below.

1.) We praise God that our child is fearfully and wonderfully made, and ask Him to continue knitting him together in the womb in the precise way He desires. (Psalm 139:13-14).

2.) We rejoice that all of our child’s days have been ordained by God (Psalm 139:16). Acknowledging that his days belong to Him, from the first to the last and every day in between. While God has given us our precious son, we recognize that He was never ours to begin with, but HIS.

3.) We pray that in time, the Holy Spirit would convict our child of his sin, and bring awareness of God’s righteousness and his coming judgment apart from salvation (John 16:8). We pray that he’ll never be deceived about the state of his heart before God (Matthew 7:21-23), never believing he’s saved if he isn’t and never doubting he’s saved if he is.

4.) We pray that God would give our child a heart that trusts in Him, leaning not on his own understanding, but acknowledging Him in all things. (Proverbs 3:5-6).

5.) We have asked God to grant our child a biblical fear of the Lord – an awareness of His holiness and His power, that inspires obedience. (Proverbs 9:10).

6.) We pray he will grow to love God’s Word and meditate on it throughout his days (Psalm 119:97).

7.) We pray that he would be great – not by intelligence or power or fame, but by serving others. (Mark 10:43-45).

8.) We pray that he would grow in grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).

9.) We pray God would grant him a heart that seeks justice, loves mercy, and walks humbly with God (Micah 6:8).

And so importantly in today's world...

10.) We pray that he would live as light in a dark world (Ephesians 5:8).

Loving like Jesus and my thoughts on Orlando.

"Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you."

-Casting Crowns

I found myself alone in church this morning, not even my husband-the pastor was there, when this song came on in the sanctuary where I was sitting having my breakfast. Life as church planters, or anyone in ministry for that matter, is exhausting and it's mostly an emotional exhaustion. Don't get me wrong I am in no way complaining. I wholeheartedly believe that the Lord has given us this burden for purpose and for reason and I 100% disagree with the statement that "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" because He does! Not to make much of us but to make much of HIM.

Sometimes my human nature takes over on Saturday night and Sunday morning and Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday, and well... you get the picture, with total frustration with people and ministry and just daily tasks that I lose sight of the ONE and only thing I was ever called to do and that is to LOVE THEM LIKE JESUS.

There have been few times where I have felt the Lord speak to my heart ever so powerfully(and oh how I pray you have felt this even if ONCE in your life) and this was one of them-yesterday morning. My heart was terribly convicted and yet so passionately on fire.  I sat in the front row trying to eat my breakfast when finally I gave up and threw my pregnant self on my knees and prayed the lyrics of this sweet song like I had never heard it before even though I have heard it a thousand and one times before.

I remember super early on in our ministry I was fresh out of Bible college when we began planting our church and I felt like I was equipped to do so much. I had taken Philosophy 104, 201, Theology 104, 201, 202, Survey of Biblical Literature, Survey of Youth Ministries, Evangelism 101, Old Testament Survey, New Testament Survey, Creation Studies, Christian Counseling, Counseling Woman(I checked my transcripts for these), all this to say I thought I was ready for ministry. 

The Lord has quickly showed me that I didn't need any of that, have I used it? Sure. But not nearly as much as I thought I would have. Have I loved them(those in our congregation and community) like Jesus? Sure, but not nearly as much as I should of/be.
I have one main call in my life and that is to LOVE THEM LIKE JESUS, and carry them to HIM because I don't need all the answers and I don't need all those fancy religious classes.

My only thoughts regarding the Orlando nightclub tragedy:

The way to battle this kind of evil is to overcome it with love according to Jesus who, by the way, would be smack in the middle of Orlando if he was still walking around down here, attending to wounds and souls and beloved hearts. Put your arms around your friends and family members and speak love and solidarity and presence and hope into their lives. 

The statistic that could be ruining our marriages.

I heard the scariest statistic yesterday on klove. 65% of us will get our spouse a Valentine while 85% will get their children a Valentine. While I will no doubt get my child a Valentine for years to come it doesn't mean I will stop treating my husband as my true Valentine. Whether it's just a card or just his favorite candy. I know some even think Valentine's Day is just a dumb holiday that should be celebrated everyday and I agree to an extent but YOU should also be celebrated everyday but we choose your day of birth to really appreciate you. Is it this attitude, this 65%-85% attitude that begins the downfall of some of our marriages when we start treating our children as if they are more important than our spouses? This statistic was in my mind all day and night as I thought of America and its marriages. No, I don't know exactly what this struggle can be like just yet but I can promise you it will be my mission to make my husband come before my children as it should be yours. 

Parents: 

The greatest example of love and how to love for your children will not be in how you loved them but in how you love your spouse. I know this in part because I had parents that deeply loved each other and while they got their children Valentines I always remember them getting each other something as well. I reflect on that love often not perfect love but unconditional self sacrificing love. Love that fought in front of their children to show them it was ok to disagree because they loved in front of their children as well. I want to be known as a wife and mother that puts her husband first after the Lord of course.

The nitty gritty:

1 Corinthians 11:9(ESV) states "Neither was man created for the woman; but woman for man." This Scripture hearkens back to God's creation of Eve. God made her as a fitting helper and companion for Adam.

In Genesis 3:16, after Adam and Eve had sinned, God told Eve that she would bring forth children, that her desire would be toward her husband, and that he would rule over her. So, even when childbirth is mentioned, God closes his statements to Eve by telling her that her husband would rule over her. 

Eve means "life giver" because she was the mother of all living (persons). So, a woman's role as a mother is certainly important, but it is never placed over her role as wife.

Putting all of this together, I would say that the Bible teaches that a wife's primary responsibility and loyalty is, after God, to her husband. She should not place the children ahead of him. 

*note: this is a personal and biblical view

The Hope for Paris, the Hope for us all.

As I worked through my evening routine last evening my mind raced through several thoughts. This world is getting darker day by day, sense act after senseless act. What was once good and lovely is turning into death and destruction. None of this is a surprise, especially to those believers of Christ, and none of this caught Him off guard, yet it still hurts and our hearts absolutely grieve the evil that is running rampant, not just in Paris, but throughout this world. With my heart feeling overwhelmed and even afraid with the most recent news, I was reminded by the most beautiful sunset out my window at dinner as I looked over my husbands shoulder, that though the world is crumbling before our eyes, God is still the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He is still on the throne. He is still so very good, perfect in ALL of HIS ways with love so undeniable and He is COMING BACK. There is such a burning in my heart over this, eternity is forever, please, please. If there was ever a time or event in your life to turn to Him let it be now. He is the only hope under the sun.

"Babe, can I write on your blog?" His birthday tribute.

Before Jess and I, got married; I lived in the missions apartment, in the downstairs, of the parsonage. I slept in a sleeping bag, on my mattress. That's a guy, for ya. When I moved out of my mom's; I had a backpack with clothes, a box of some sentimental stuff, and my sleeping bag. That's it. I could move myself in/out in around 10 minutes. I lived downstairs, for just about a year and a half, and the only thing I really changed was my clothes. Didn't decorate, just microwaved meals, and ate with plastic ware. After we got married, EVERYTHING changed. Of course we moved upstairs, but then painted the walls, re-did the flooring, re-decorated everything, fixed up the landscape out front, put a deck on the back, and adopted two yellow labs. Everything changed. Not all overnight of course, but it continues to change, almost every other week lol. Now all of a sudden, there is just stuff everywhere. Some of which, is very confusing to me, I must say. Like, there's two of us, but we probably have enough coffee mugs to give out one to every member of both our extended families. What I'm getting at is this; Up until we got married, I was just living there. It was just a house, to me. Now, since we have been living together there, and doing life together there...That house, has become a home. It is now full of very rich, sweet, and precious memories. It's never easy when two sinners live together under the same roof, but it is beautiful to see the manifold grace of God in each other every day. I believe this is why we are told "Two, are better than one." Ecclesiastes 4:9 

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Destroying your critical eye-Psalm 103

Psalm 103
1Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

We see imperfection after imperfection when we look in the mirror or go to a doctors appointment.

The Lord only sees perfection when He looks at us, He crafted us.

Over the past year I have struggled with some of the things the Lord has placed in my life. I have questioned God wrestled with hate towards my own body and the way that it functions. I was failing the Lord daily in this matter.  It wasn't until recently that the passage in Psalms grabbed ahold of my heart.

I fully surrendered these damaging thoughts over to the Lord and every time I began thinking such things I simply prayed and asked the Lord to remove them from my thoughts.

I am just as susceptible to cancer or some other disease as you are. So whatever it is that you might be dealing with, your weight, your appearance, an un healthy self esteem, a diagnosis of some sort I challenge you to give it over to the Lord. Our bodies are a gift for us to be thankful for. Being faithful in taking care of this gift by walking according to God's plan, no matter your weight or any other issue, the Lord knows because It passed his desk before the doctors or before the scale. This thought gives me renewed strength to keep a healthy view of my body. 

Like the psalmist, I can pray this prayer of thanksgiving over my body and mean it.

Read psalm 103 again

It is so easy to zero in on what is wrong with our bodies. Maybe you hate your nose and it may seem like a shallow concern to others. But when we allow our brains to park and fixate on this place of dissatisfaction it gives Satan just enough room to share his lie that will strip you of any motivation. "Your body is never going to look the way you want it to look, or work the way you want it to" is what he says.

This is why We have to seek the Lords perspective. Psalm 103 says "forget not all his benefits."

God has not cursed you and I think it is safe to say that you offend God when you think negatively about yourself in any manner. 

I know that the Lord is going to show himself faithful in my particular situation, I don't know when but it is such a sweet gift to my soul to know and brings my heart great satisfaction.

Psalm 103 again affirms, God satisfies your desires "with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's"

Read psalm 103 again, and again, as many times as you need too.

When I studied this verse out and decided to also live it out I began thanking God daily for making me exactly the way He did. I don't hold myself up to others with a critical eye of judgement.

I challenge you to examine what the hidden benefits of those things you hold as negative in your life and bring them to the feet of Jesus, it is truly liberating.

TURNING SADNESS INTO THANKFULNESS

I woke up the other morning with that surprising ache of sadness. Not the kind of sadness that pairs with hopelessness, it's the sadness that catches you off guard, resting in your eyes and filling your lungs before you even know it's there, almost more of a physical sadness than a mental sadness. It's the sadness that is paired with His presence and peace, yet the emotion is real and the breaths seem a little shorter as you try to hold it together. These days always catch me off guard, hitting me when I least expect it and yet bring a gentle comfort with them as I know bringing my sadness to His feet is powerful and that He will rest with me in a no-reason tough day like today. It's days like this when I have to be keenly aware and tuned into my blessings, otherwise the sadness can run wild and free and do far more damage that it should. So today I am thankful for my husband, the sun shining, the kitchen sink that was empty when I came home, the liquid caffeine my husband has waiting for me each morning. If your caught off guard by an emotion today acknowledge it and bring it to his feet. Worship Him and thank Him despite the hardships and ask Him to walk with you. He is faithful to meet us. What are you thankful for today?

Cotton Anniversary

Keeping with tradition yet again we went for a cotton theme anniversary. Starting with our traditional anniversary pictures. David is always pretty creative, he went with a quilt and wrote on it to remember this anniversary. Plus he knows I'm a nut about blankets! He even got us pillows and drew a cute drawing on them. Knowing that I have been dying to try and make a quilt, he took me too get some cotton fabric to make a quilt, guess I better get started now-no excuses! Again with the blankets, he will be yelling at me in a few years to get rid of them all! David and I are always so thankful to everyone that remembers us on our anniversary as well. Thank you to everyone that sent us well wishes and thanks to everyone who shared that special day with us TWO years ago! We cannot remember a time when we felt so loved as that day!

cotton quilt

Cotton sheets from my parents

Garden veggie basket from my father in law and his wife.

Cotton basket for David

How creative and sweet is my husband? 

Of course you have to celebrate a cotton anniversary with cotton candy!

A LETTER TO MY HUSBAND- OUR SECOND ANNIVERSARY

David Cole, Two years ago was more than a dream-it was a taste of Heaven and I have been living there ever since. I have decided that God loves weddings and marriage! His presence that August day was stronger than I felt in my whole life and our marriage has only drawn me closer to Him. I find myself gasping for air as I think of the things to type in this letter. This past year we have learned and grown so much, probably more so than year one. Yea, actually that was a breeze. ;) We have been challenged with circumstantial things out of our control that left us with one option-surrendering to God. Even when difficult and heart breaking you have never wavered and are my greatest supporter and greatest source of strength. You are the calm in the middle of the storms that I create for myself (as you would say) and even the ones that I have no control over. I've never looked around and had to question where you were, you are my constant. I love how we do everything together, you cook with me, clean with me, indulge in Hobby Lobby trips with me, pray with me, and sit beside me outside in the evenings. You my love are always quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. You keep me laughing and falling in love more day after day.

I love you always, Mrs. David Douthitt

Photography by: and lifestyle photography

6 Prayers For My Husband

1. Lord let my husband obey you without question like Abrahan, regardless of your request.

2. God, help him to remember that no matter the situation, good or bad, that you are still good.

3. Jesus give him the faith of Job, no matter how difficult the circumstance.

4. Lord, give Him the wisdom and guidance to shepherd over his family and your people.

5. God, allow Him to find his rest in you and in you alone.

6. Jesus, I pray he have the boldness of Peter, to speak your truth always.

Pin this (Why we don't need "women's" ministry)

I love planning events and take pride in decorating and crating cute ideas and I won't lie Pinterest is a big help and feeds my passion for things like that. The world gives us so many GREAT ideas, but we don't need this.

We should be desiring authenticity, community, and vulnerability not life hacks from Pinterest. We are suffocating in cute tablescapes and bright crafty things and drowning in the desire for real community with one another.

We show up to these fun ladies events and we leave grasping for more, or we leave feeling a little empty and it's the same event after event.

The women of our world aren’t looking for a safe place to cry about housework and ooh-and-ahhh over centerpieces. Not all are mothers, some of us work outside the home, some of us have kids, and others don’t or won’t or can’t. Womanhood is not only about wifehood and motherhood. We’re not all in the same season of life. We are – or should be – diverse image bearers of a Perfect and Holy God.

We need Jesus. We are seeking deep spirituality. We are seeking women to walk beside us. We are hungry for true community, a place to tell our stories and listen to another, to love well. But above all, point me to Jesus–not to the sale at the mall.

Are we sharing what the one true God has to say or are we sharing what we read in the latest blog post on a topic. Do we head to our Bibles to find true counsel or do we Google and Pinterest the topic the first?

You know what I desire for women's ministry instead of crafts or a new recipe? I would like to see women pray together, not just at an event but on the phone in the middle of traffic. I would like to see the women of the church share their stories or wisdom with one another when another lady is struggling not just offering up an "I'll pray for you," or "it will be ok, have faith, trust the Lord." Stop right what you are doing and pray, help her work through scripture and studying the Bible TOGETHER!

 I would love to wrestle with some questions that don’t have a one-paragraph answer in your study guide. I want us to sign up to take a meal to the elderly or make care packages for a new baby or be informed about issues in our community where we can make space for God to allow us to reflect His image. I would like to organize and prioritize, and to disturb the peace of the rest of the world on behalf of justice, truth, beauty, love and what the Word of God says we should stand against and not accept. I’d love to hear the voices of women in our church, not just mine constantly.

Please let's stop treating women’s ministry like a safe club for the ladies to play church.

We are smart. We are brave. We should want to change the world. Let's run marathons to benefit our sisters, not so that we can lose weight. We have more to offer to the church than our decorating skills and our ability to use Pinterest and Google. I look around, and I can see women who can offer strategic leadership, wisdom, counsel, and even, yes, teaching. We need to give and serve and make a difference. We should desire to be challenged. We should read books and talk politics, theology, and current events. We need to listen to each other. We should be worshipping, we should be interceding for our sisters and weeping with those who weep, rejoicing with those that rejoice, to create life and justice with intention.

Let’s be a community of women, gathered together to live more whole-heartedly, to sharpen, challenge, love, and inspire one another to then scatter back out to our worlds bearing the mandate to be women that love. Idelette McVicker wrote: 

Let us RISE to the questions of our time.

Let us SPEAK to the injustices in our world.

Let us MOVE the mountains of fear and intimidation.

Let us SHOUT down the walls that separate and divide.

Let us FILL the Earth with the fragrance of Love.

Let us be women who Love.

Don't worry I'm not giving up Pinterest.

A calling.

The feet of missionaries and church planting wives are honoring the calling of God in their lives.

Oprah once said "...honor your calling. It's why you were born and how you become most truly alive." Now I wouldn't call myself an Oprah fan, she never gave ME a car, but she made a very accurate statement above.

I get questioned a lot on how I "manage" everything I do, between having a career, obtaining my Masters degree currently, keeping up with having a home, and being a pastors wife. I don't know if I would call it "manage" or "balance". I seem to relate better to exhaustion and there are moments when I have sat and watched it all crash down around me and I fail to die to my flesh.

Even in the midst of total exhaustion and chaos at times there is rest and peace in my soul. This rest and peace I find in my soul is because I am honoring the call of God in my life to be who HE made me to be, and there is still grace that comes in the chaos because of my obedience to Him. I can't give you a rule book for "balance" or calling, and neither than anyone else. Run after your calling and I promise he will give you grace and peace, and rest for whatever He has called you to do. Obedience to Him brings more blessings than you can imagine.

The Lord has called me to be the wife of a church planting Pastor, and others may look at us and invite us to speak as missionaries, but we feel totally unworthy, this is our life. We get to serve God, we would be doing it regardless if we had a church to shepard over or not. It is incredible how the Lord puts a call in your life and how he grows and develops the calling in your heart. He has given me desires that I never dreamed I would have. We got to be instruments for Him in starting a church and now it is infectious in my soul. I found myself washing dishes the other day asking my husband "How many churches do you think we can plant in our life time?!" We then began dreaming of our next church plant. We want to be a church that plants churches. His call in our lives, has become our greatest desire-fulfilling it.

2 Timothy 1:7-9 says 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, 9 who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began,

Paul writing to Timothy verse 9 "but according to HIS own purpose" not Jessica's purpose or (insert your name) purpose, but HIS purpose. We have a holy calling, pursue it, run with it, embrace it, live for it. You will be most fulfilled and satisfied when you do!

How to take better sermon notes.

I started taking sermon notes after watching my mother do so for several years on the back of bulletins, loose paper, etc. I started this way as well, but being much younger I always loved fancy notebooks. So I got a black and white notebook smaller than my bible, but almost just as thick with a rhinestone clip. I filled it up, but it wasn't til after I filled it up I realized it just wasn't realistic. When I went to college I seemed to get more realistic, reality really was setting in I guess. I downsized my Bible and my notebook. You can find similar ones here and here. I personally really like to use the moleskin notebooks because they are super thin and fit perfectly inside my Bible.

Notice the dog paw, thats my Fitzgerald, usually a loner but not this morning, couldn't get him away!

College is over and I'm still using the same Bible, that says a lot for me, I fell in love with it so much more during that time in my life and really learned and grew so much during that time of life and we have sort of an attachment. I hope you have that too! It has coffee stains and rips and at first I hated the thought of that but now I remember little moments when that happened, like the coffee I spilt in the middle of a class lecture on the book of Genesis and that wonderful coffee from Jazzmans Cafe!

Anyway, sermon notes...

1. Know why you are there to begin with

We need to come to church with a heart that is seeking God. We are not there to be entertained but to know Him more.

2. Don't try to write everything down

Some people know shorthand and this can be helpful, I do not. Listen to the Pastor he normally will make certain points or even say "write this down." Go off of his points for a good outline.

3. Always write down additional scripture references

This helps when you look back over your notes and do more studying throughout the following weeks.

4. Write down questions

If you have a question write it down and ask the pastor later he would love to answer your questions

5. Record application and prayer points

If you are reading a passage of scripture and someone pops into your mind, write their name down that is the Holy Spirit prompting you to pray for them or talk to them. Although a word of caution: when listening to a sermon we shouldn't be trying to think "So and so should be here to hear this." We should be thinking about how this applies to us and our walk with the Lord.

6. REVIEW!!

Don't just write everything down and leave it there in your Bible or on your coffee table, go back to it, understand it. I have several of my notebooks and I will go back to them and remember certain things a pastor said or that I needed for encouragement. Sometimes I go back and gain more knowledge on a subject for a lesson that I am doing. Use what you write, apply it to your life!

Something I do when I am reading is if something sticks out that I want to study more or would love to teach a lesson on is I will write that down. Like above in the book of Genesis where I notes a pro-life story on Ishmael's life.

Take note of important facts as well, the first prophecy. While I did take a theology class and Bible classes while in college and learned so much from it, you do have Google and a Bible-use it! You can learn so much history!

Muddy footprints.

"When you come up the stairs leave your boots at the door." I say this quite often in the winter months. I'm really not that bothered by walking through the house in shoes any other season, but winter, the dirt, the mud, the tiny little rocks, the salt from the roads just really makes me crazy to see all over the floor. 

Let me set the stage for you. Two days prior I cleaned our entire house...floors...all hardwood...on my hands and knees. In preparation for a surprise you will hear about later. I don't usually work long hours, but one day this week I happened to work 11.5 hours straight, I left at 7:30am and it was almost 8pm when I pulled into our driveway. David was at a friends house, which I already knew. Walking up the basement steps to go into our kitchen, I was expecting to be greeted by our dog, who has been successfully trained to stay out of his kennel while we are not home! Insert proud puppy momma smile here. Instead the first thing that caught my eye was, you guessed it, A MUDDY FOOTPRINT! Err! I round the corner and their wasn't one but two more. I set my bag on the table to find not just three now but a whole trail. I instantly thought do I even want to follow this trail, because around another corner is a brand new hallway rug I just bought (white and beige to be exact). Silently pleading with my husband in my mind please, please, please tell me you stopped at the coat closet and didn't got any further in those muddy boots. He didn't. NINE MORE PRINTS!!! We're at a grand total of twelve if your counting, because Lord knows I was. Grabbing my phone, I text "I could kill you right now." "What, why" was his response. And off went my rant to him, me refusing to clean the prints up and lecturing him on not only that he was going to clean them but how he was going to clean them up. Later that night he came home, asking if I was still mad and me coldly responding of course I'm still mad. He cleaned up all twelve prints and the smell of the cleaning products infuriated me more. The next day came, David and I were fine, even laughed about, but it wasn't fine. 

The Lord was prodding my heart with Ephesians 4:29 it says"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." 

In the heat of the moment, I thought about being nice, I thought about cleaning the prints, but that is where I failed. I choose 'corrupt communication' my words did not edify my husband, nor minister grace. I fail my Lord daily, but in these muddy footprints and daily failures this is where He keeps me humble, where He keeps me relying on Him. I failed to listen to His knocking on my heart even in that moment when he said "just clean them up." I'm kicking myself now, and even though both David and myself were over it, I quietly whispered my apology to him for my words and my attitude, then followed suit in begging the Lord to give me more opportunities to to show His grace to others and to speak edifying words to others and especially my husband.

What I didn't know when I became a Pastor's Wife

                         

There were a lot of things I didn't know before I became a pastors wife. When I thought about it, I pictured myself cutely dressed and sitting in the front row every Sunday and that was about the extent of it. My mind clearly didn't wander too far. I came up with nine things that I quickly realized while helping my husband minister to a small church

1. I am the multi-media director-the mic starts to cut out in the middle of the morning service, who does the pastor look at? You got it-me! Who is manning the slide changes in the powerpoint during the worship time? Me again.

2. I quickly became a wedding coordinator. When my husband performs wedding rehearsals I usually tag along and I usually get more than I bargain for in doing this. I have found that the bride usually forgets to get someone to coordinate the entrances and timing as her groom, bridal party, and herself enters the church on her special day. While it might not be a big deal to some, when you have someone to do that everything just runs much smoother. So I usually end up rounding up the whole party and getting everything situated behind the scenes. This is fun for me, I enjoy seeing the bride before the groom! Coming through in those little moments, takes a lot of pressure off of the day.

3.Event planner. Considering multiple ages groups and activities that are fun, not boring, and not over done, can be a hard task! Consider all that plus add in a very restrictive budget! Now don't get me wrong, my husband can do this and for the most part he comes up with a lot of great ideas, but lets face it, women are just more creative than men.

4.The interior decorator-because would you want your husband decorating your house?!?

5. The pastors stylist-refer to my 'Why I let my husband wear wrinkled pants to church' post.

6. I am the fill in-my least favorite title. While I want my husband to be able to count on me and rely on me always especially in bind. I thought being the fill in would require less of my time. It turns out when your the fill in you are filling in more than not. This tend to be a last minute thing every sunday and you must be prepared with a lesson and snacks or some spit up and baby drool in the nursery.

7. I work a full time job, so I technically get one day off, and if I'm lucky we have a church event on a Saturday too! (I really mean it when I say lucky)

8. In becoming David's wife I knew that i would hell bare the load of this ministry along with him, but in all honestly I thought it would mostly consist of a lot of the physical stuff mentioned above in the first seven things. What it really is more of, is the emotional side of this life, being that encourager for my husband, and learning to do a lot of listening. Your pastor has deep concern you.

Last and best of all were the blessings I would receive in this position. Our church family has been huge encouragers for us in this journey we are on and we are forever grateful for their support! Everyday we sit amazed with what we have and who we have to be thankful for!

*please do no misunderstand this post in me trying to take ownership over these titles, I have simply fallen into them and me typing them out was a very humbling experience to see not what I do, but what the lord has allowed me to do for Him! 

Busyness should not be your badge of honor.

Halfway through our Myrtle Beach vacation and I'm sitting in the water as the waves are crashing against the shore. I wonder why we only make the attempt once a year for this type of break in the reality of our lives. I can't help but sit here and think of the busyness that awaits me at home. I once heard someone say "Rest is not a guilty pleasure that we have to sneak, but a command from God. We need to quit wearing busyness and tiredness as a badge of honor." I hate the word busy, even though I use it often and it is a word that could easily be used to fit my life. I have been contemplating these words, busy, tired, and even yes and no, over the last few days and have decided that busy and tired are gone from my vocabulary and what is going to make that easier for me is to reevaluate what I say "yes" and "no" to! Giving my best to the things that deserve my "yes."

Louie Giglio said: “Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.”

Rest should be a reminder that we are dependent on our much stronger God.

Check out Lysa Terkeurst's new book The Best Yes for more inspiration on this topic!

Paper Anniversary

We decided to go with tradition for our first anniversary as husband and wife. The first year is PAPER. You would think this would be easy but you really have to get creative. I decided to make a post about what we got each other because I searched the internet and had the hardest time finding any ideas!

David got up super early on a Sunday Morning and decorated our whole house in homemade heart garland and dug out all of our old notes to each other, written on paper, and spread them throughout the house. I love flowers, so David tried his best at a bouquet of paper ones!

I was able to get the audio of both of us saying "I do" and turned it into a sound wave to have printed and framed. I thought this was something different. To make the rest of this year interesting I wrote down 52 surprises (one for each week of the next year) for David to pick from each week. I also was able to find a nice Marvel poster for his man room that he thinks he is creating in our basement.

We also were able to spend a nice, relaxing weekend at our favorite resort, Nemacolin Woodlands, where we got engaged and spent many date nights prior to that.