About a year into our marriage I was diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, because of this and the research I had done led my husband and I to seek out a professional that specialized in dealing with PCOS. I have always been extremely proactive. As a young teenager I would plan out my life years in advance and expect everything to appropriately fall into sync. I know ridiculous. So after much more research we choose our doctor, Dr. Rowan. After 20 minutes with Dr. Rowan I realized the fact that all of this was no accident. God has his hand in EVERYTHING and it is quite humorous to think that I had anything to do with it all. He again reconfirmed what we had already known and helped to educate us more. Dr. Rowan confirmed that left to our own devices we would have a 1% chance of conceiving. STOP RIGHT THERE and let my human nature take over. I wrestled and sought out the wise counsel of close friends and family(thank goodness our family has TWO pastors, my husband included) questioning whether or not I was "playing" God, or if I was going against His plan for our lives. I still believe that He could show Himself in that 1% chance. I wanted to leave room for God but I also believe that the Lord gives His wisdom to the doctors He places in our paths and I also believe that each and every one of us has our own convictions on the matter and I can respect that as well. My sweet brother-in-law said to me "if you were just diagnosed with cancer would you go home and sit there and let it kill you or would you do something about it?" That was the peace I needed.
At our first actual fertility appointment I remember sitting at the table with my husband and Dr. Rowan and a student doctor. I remember taking a deep breath, feeling confident, and then I looked across the table and the student doctor had tears in her eyes, and then I remember feeling as if someone had just punched me in the gut and knocked the wind right out of me. Was she crying for me? Does she have her own issues she is dealing with? I remember saying a silent prayer for her, knowing she was a student, and knowing that this was totally unprofessional for her, my heart broke into a million pieces thinking about all the possibilities. I will never lose the picture of her catching tears with a tissue out of my head. We left the appointment my husband feeling ready and confident, me no longer confident but scared for the journey we were about to embark on. About ten minutes down the road I began thinking to myself: What if this didn't work. What happens when we have to repeat this process multiple times. Were we financially ready for this commitment? (Insurances only cover up until a diagnosis of infertility, nothing beyond) I had done some previous research on PCOS and treatments and read blogs from women going through the exact same things but my own reality seemed so daunting.
We experienced some failure and disappointments that is for certain. Even just recently in the middle of October we went back in for a monitoring appointment where Dr. Rowan, after the longest few seconds of my life, said that there "wasn't much going on." This is the point where I thought, “Oh Lord, what does this mean?” I questioned everything, like maybe we aren’t ready and He is protecting us from something. After much deliberating with my sweet husband and prayer. We decided that this was the path we decided on and that we needed to press on. We never did discuss when enough would be enough...
After a few more seconds we saw a glimmer of hope but our doctor also expressed his concerns and the circumstances did not look like they were going to be in our favor again. We again still decided to press on, but all the while worried about the next step.
It was in these next few weeks that David and I finally decided that we needed to totally surrender all of our hopes, fears, and doubt to the Lord. While we thought we had already done that our own hands still had a firm grasp on all of that as if we had the power to control it all.
On October 30th, we decided to "just for fun" take a test, honestly expecting to see a big fat NEGATIVE. I didn't even wait to see what the test said I took it and went about doing something else. About 15 minutes later I decided to check it and low and behold I could see a faint POSITIVE and I didn't even believe it, plus I then read that you have to read the darn things within five minutes, and I hadn't. We took another in the morning and it was even more POSITIVE, but I still didn't believe it. I told David I'm not going to believe it until I actually saw the words PREGNANT. So of course we went out and bought one that actually spelled it out for me...
My first thought was "that was.. easy." But- reality is, it wasn't actually easy as I recollect back through our journey here to write this LONG post (sorry).
In the days following my positive pregnancy test I took multiple blood tests to check HCG, progesterone, etc.. all came back healthy. Very healthy. All the nurses could say was 'You have a very strong pregnancy.'
Finally came the time to see this sweet baby on the monitor! I couldn't contain myself! I was 6 weeks, but our doctor was concerned that the baby was measuring smaller than it should have been so we were back a week later to make sure the baby grew in a week what it should have, our nerves we at an all time high but everything happened in a week that should have, 7 weeks, again we weren't given the all clear just yet, Dr. Rowan wanted another scan this time after two weeks. Our 9 week appointment came and everything checked out perfectly and our doctor was no longer concerned with babies size.
Tears. All I had was tears. I couldn't stop crying- joyful crying, let me be clear on that..
So here we are, A rather long time coming, and we are blessed with a sweet baby, God chose me to carry and us to be parents to our sweet child. What an honor that he would bless me in this way. So, no IUI, no In-Vitro.. just a little help from hormone therapy and a good doctor. We realize that our struggle with infertility was not as long as so many others out there and we feel so humbled by that. I assure you we felt so many of the same emotions and struggles of others as well. We also realize that some couples out there are never successful, which makes us want to magnify the Lord even greater through this. I never like the phrase "God never gives you more than you can handle," because He does, He absolutely does. He has used this experience to learn to rely on Him more fully and all we want to do is give this sweet child right back to Him.
Even though this post is SUPER long, I still left out SO much! At first David and I were very mum on the topic but we are an open book now, because we want to share with you HIS beautiful story in us!
I was suffering from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) since my 19 years of age. Ever since i got married i have not been able to get pregnant, so i was completely barren due to this genetic disorder. I was prescribed several Clomid Meds but couldn't see any improvement. I would basically go from one outbreak to the next. Finally, on my best friend's recommendation, i decided to try the rescue herbal remedy which are made in liquid form with natural root and herbs from Dr Molemen.Within a few weeks, I could see improvements in the symptoms.
ReplyDeleteMy Menstrual Period has been maintained to normal,I used this medicine for two weeks and after some months later i began to have some early symptoms of pregnancy, its been over a year and some months now since i used that medicine and i have successfully given birth to a child,after been childless for many years due to this PCOS Syndrome. I would recommend this medicine to my other friends out there who are suffering from PCOS to give this medicine a try.
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