A Letter to My Husband: Our Third Anniversary

Can you believe it has already been 3 years since we said, “I do.”? When I think back to that day, I see myself as a clueless young girl. I remember thinking marriage with you was going to be great, all I could see was bliss in the future for us. I never saw hard days, but boy did they come, but the happiness and joy I saw was nothing to what I have experienced I. Our marriage. But since that day....I now know that the Lord has been with us every single day of our journey together. Growing up I never imagined I would ever be as happy & loved as I am with you and it's not because you tell me, but because you show me your love for me. I pray one day our sons become such a man as you because of your example. I pray our daughters never settle for less than the example I know you will set forth for them. I don’t tell you enough how much you mean to me and how honored and humbled I am that God chose me to be your wife. I know I am not the easiest person to love, but with God’s help I hope to be the wife you truly deserve! I can truly see the way Christ loves, in the way you love. You give so much of yourself to those you love and care for. Even those who don’t deserve it, that being myself at times. Witnessing this remarkable attribute of yours makes me want to do better, be better, love better. 

I know you have many dreams and I pray you are able to chase them all one day. But you should know that you fulfill all of my wildest dreams! To have someone love and adore me the way you do is much more than some people get to experience in a lifetime. And I found that love so early on. I thank God every day for you and our marriage. Can’t wait to see what the next 3 years look!!

The statistic that could be ruining our marriages.

I heard the scariest statistic yesterday on klove. 65% of us will get our spouse a Valentine while 85% will get their children a Valentine. While I will no doubt get my child a Valentine for years to come it doesn't mean I will stop treating my husband as my true Valentine. Whether it's just a card or just his favorite candy. I know some even think Valentine's Day is just a dumb holiday that should be celebrated everyday and I agree to an extent but YOU should also be celebrated everyday but we choose your day of birth to really appreciate you. Is it this attitude, this 65%-85% attitude that begins the downfall of some of our marriages when we start treating our children as if they are more important than our spouses? This statistic was in my mind all day and night as I thought of America and its marriages. No, I don't know exactly what this struggle can be like just yet but I can promise you it will be my mission to make my husband come before my children as it should be yours. 

Parents: 

The greatest example of love and how to love for your children will not be in how you loved them but in how you love your spouse. I know this in part because I had parents that deeply loved each other and while they got their children Valentines I always remember them getting each other something as well. I reflect on that love often not perfect love but unconditional self sacrificing love. Love that fought in front of their children to show them it was ok to disagree because they loved in front of their children as well. I want to be known as a wife and mother that puts her husband first after the Lord of course.

The nitty gritty:

1 Corinthians 11:9(ESV) states "Neither was man created for the woman; but woman for man." This Scripture hearkens back to God's creation of Eve. God made her as a fitting helper and companion for Adam.

In Genesis 3:16, after Adam and Eve had sinned, God told Eve that she would bring forth children, that her desire would be toward her husband, and that he would rule over her. So, even when childbirth is mentioned, God closes his statements to Eve by telling her that her husband would rule over her. 

Eve means "life giver" because she was the mother of all living (persons). So, a woman's role as a mother is certainly important, but it is never placed over her role as wife.

Putting all of this together, I would say that the Bible teaches that a wife's primary responsibility and loyalty is, after God, to her husband. She should not place the children ahead of him. 

*note: this is a personal and biblical view

"Babe, can I write on your blog?" His birthday tribute.

Before Jess and I, got married; I lived in the missions apartment, in the downstairs, of the parsonage. I slept in a sleeping bag, on my mattress. That's a guy, for ya. When I moved out of my mom's; I had a backpack with clothes, a box of some sentimental stuff, and my sleeping bag. That's it. I could move myself in/out in around 10 minutes. I lived downstairs, for just about a year and a half, and the only thing I really changed was my clothes. Didn't decorate, just microwaved meals, and ate with plastic ware. After we got married, EVERYTHING changed. Of course we moved upstairs, but then painted the walls, re-did the flooring, re-decorated everything, fixed up the landscape out front, put a deck on the back, and adopted two yellow labs. Everything changed. Not all overnight of course, but it continues to change, almost every other week lol. Now all of a sudden, there is just stuff everywhere. Some of which, is very confusing to me, I must say. Like, there's two of us, but we probably have enough coffee mugs to give out one to every member of both our extended families. What I'm getting at is this; Up until we got married, I was just living there. It was just a house, to me. Now, since we have been living together there, and doing life together there...That house, has become a home. It is now full of very rich, sweet, and precious memories. It's never easy when two sinners live together under the same roof, but it is beautiful to see the manifold grace of God in each other every day. I believe this is why we are told "Two, are better than one." Ecclesiastes 4:9 

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

TURNING SADNESS INTO THANKFULNESS

I woke up the other morning with that surprising ache of sadness. Not the kind of sadness that pairs with hopelessness, it's the sadness that catches you off guard, resting in your eyes and filling your lungs before you even know it's there, almost more of a physical sadness than a mental sadness. It's the sadness that is paired with His presence and peace, yet the emotion is real and the breaths seem a little shorter as you try to hold it together. These days always catch me off guard, hitting me when I least expect it and yet bring a gentle comfort with them as I know bringing my sadness to His feet is powerful and that He will rest with me in a no-reason tough day like today. It's days like this when I have to be keenly aware and tuned into my blessings, otherwise the sadness can run wild and free and do far more damage that it should. So today I am thankful for my husband, the sun shining, the kitchen sink that was empty when I came home, the liquid caffeine my husband has waiting for me each morning. If your caught off guard by an emotion today acknowledge it and bring it to his feet. Worship Him and thank Him despite the hardships and ask Him to walk with you. He is faithful to meet us. What are you thankful for today?

Cotton Anniversary

Keeping with tradition yet again we went for a cotton theme anniversary. Starting with our traditional anniversary pictures. David is always pretty creative, he went with a quilt and wrote on it to remember this anniversary. Plus he knows I'm a nut about blankets! He even got us pillows and drew a cute drawing on them. Knowing that I have been dying to try and make a quilt, he took me too get some cotton fabric to make a quilt, guess I better get started now-no excuses! Again with the blankets, he will be yelling at me in a few years to get rid of them all! David and I are always so thankful to everyone that remembers us on our anniversary as well. Thank you to everyone that sent us well wishes and thanks to everyone who shared that special day with us TWO years ago! We cannot remember a time when we felt so loved as that day!

cotton quilt

Cotton sheets from my parents

Garden veggie basket from my father in law and his wife.

Cotton basket for David

How creative and sweet is my husband? 

Of course you have to celebrate a cotton anniversary with cotton candy!

A LETTER TO MY HUSBAND- OUR SECOND ANNIVERSARY

David Cole, Two years ago was more than a dream-it was a taste of Heaven and I have been living there ever since. I have decided that God loves weddings and marriage! His presence that August day was stronger than I felt in my whole life and our marriage has only drawn me closer to Him. I find myself gasping for air as I think of the things to type in this letter. This past year we have learned and grown so much, probably more so than year one. Yea, actually that was a breeze. ;) We have been challenged with circumstantial things out of our control that left us with one option-surrendering to God. Even when difficult and heart breaking you have never wavered and are my greatest supporter and greatest source of strength. You are the calm in the middle of the storms that I create for myself (as you would say) and even the ones that I have no control over. I've never looked around and had to question where you were, you are my constant. I love how we do everything together, you cook with me, clean with me, indulge in Hobby Lobby trips with me, pray with me, and sit beside me outside in the evenings. You my love are always quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. You keep me laughing and falling in love more day after day.

I love you always, Mrs. David Douthitt

Photography by: and lifestyle photography

6 Prayers For My Husband

1. Lord let my husband obey you without question like Abrahan, regardless of your request.

2. God, help him to remember that no matter the situation, good or bad, that you are still good.

3. Jesus give him the faith of Job, no matter how difficult the circumstance.

4. Lord, give Him the wisdom and guidance to shepherd over his family and your people.

5. God, allow Him to find his rest in you and in you alone.

6. Jesus, I pray he have the boldness of Peter, to speak your truth always.

Muddy footprints.

"When you come up the stairs leave your boots at the door." I say this quite often in the winter months. I'm really not that bothered by walking through the house in shoes any other season, but winter, the dirt, the mud, the tiny little rocks, the salt from the roads just really makes me crazy to see all over the floor. 

Let me set the stage for you. Two days prior I cleaned our entire house...floors...all hardwood...on my hands and knees. In preparation for a surprise you will hear about later. I don't usually work long hours, but one day this week I happened to work 11.5 hours straight, I left at 7:30am and it was almost 8pm when I pulled into our driveway. David was at a friends house, which I already knew. Walking up the basement steps to go into our kitchen, I was expecting to be greeted by our dog, who has been successfully trained to stay out of his kennel while we are not home! Insert proud puppy momma smile here. Instead the first thing that caught my eye was, you guessed it, A MUDDY FOOTPRINT! Err! I round the corner and their wasn't one but two more. I set my bag on the table to find not just three now but a whole trail. I instantly thought do I even want to follow this trail, because around another corner is a brand new hallway rug I just bought (white and beige to be exact). Silently pleading with my husband in my mind please, please, please tell me you stopped at the coat closet and didn't got any further in those muddy boots. He didn't. NINE MORE PRINTS!!! We're at a grand total of twelve if your counting, because Lord knows I was. Grabbing my phone, I text "I could kill you right now." "What, why" was his response. And off went my rant to him, me refusing to clean the prints up and lecturing him on not only that he was going to clean them but how he was going to clean them up. Later that night he came home, asking if I was still mad and me coldly responding of course I'm still mad. He cleaned up all twelve prints and the smell of the cleaning products infuriated me more. The next day came, David and I were fine, even laughed about, but it wasn't fine. 

The Lord was prodding my heart with Ephesians 4:29 it says"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." 

In the heat of the moment, I thought about being nice, I thought about cleaning the prints, but that is where I failed. I choose 'corrupt communication' my words did not edify my husband, nor minister grace. I fail my Lord daily, but in these muddy footprints and daily failures this is where He keeps me humble, where He keeps me relying on Him. I failed to listen to His knocking on my heart even in that moment when he said "just clean them up." I'm kicking myself now, and even though both David and myself were over it, I quietly whispered my apology to him for my words and my attitude, then followed suit in begging the Lord to give me more opportunities to to show His grace to others and to speak edifying words to others and especially my husband.

Paper Anniversary

We decided to go with tradition for our first anniversary as husband and wife. The first year is PAPER. You would think this would be easy but you really have to get creative. I decided to make a post about what we got each other because I searched the internet and had the hardest time finding any ideas!

David got up super early on a Sunday Morning and decorated our whole house in homemade heart garland and dug out all of our old notes to each other, written on paper, and spread them throughout the house. I love flowers, so David tried his best at a bouquet of paper ones!

I was able to get the audio of both of us saying "I do" and turned it into a sound wave to have printed and framed. I thought this was something different. To make the rest of this year interesting I wrote down 52 surprises (one for each week of the next year) for David to pick from each week. I also was able to find a nice Marvel poster for his man room that he thinks he is creating in our basement.

We also were able to spend a nice, relaxing weekend at our favorite resort, Nemacolin Woodlands, where we got engaged and spent many date nights prior to that.

A Letter to my Husband-Our First Anniversary!

David Cole,
I am always at a loss for words when it comes to expressing exactly just how I feel about our love. As our first anniversary has come and gone so fast, just as this past year has, I can’t help but think what you have taught me about love, instead of what has been felt. You love me just the way God created me, with every imperfection that you have never tried to change. You see past my outward flaws into the depths of my heart and you love me just the same. Just one look from you and all my anxieties turn to nothing. Despite decisions I’ve made in the past and uncertainties we will face together in the future, you remind me how BIG our God is and to trust His plan. You lead our marriage by putting God first and us second. You are dedicated to integrity, just as I spoke in my wedding vows, you are a man whose integrity shines like a diamond in the dust. You are always there to greet me with a warm hug after a long day and a night never goes by without a good night kiss. Our first year of marriage has been full of many mountains and valleys but in those challenging moments we are reminded of the vows we promised each other that beautiful summer afternoon on August 10th, 2013.

I love you forever and always.

Sunday Morning.

Each Sunday David and I wake up together, I enjoy coffee and breakfast, like homemade waffles on the waffle iron, with my husband. We never seem to be in a rush as we get ready for the morning. We show up at church and each grab a cup of coffee as we head to our usual seats. The service starts and we worship together, and listen to the sermon together. When the service is over we head out to grab lunch and then back home for a Sunday afternoon nap-after all those are gold!

OK, so I'm totally lying, that was all a made up fantasy that I normally fantasize about every Sunday morning.

Being married to the Pastor does not make this fantasy realistic. Most Sundays he is gone before sunrise to prep and prepare for the service that morning. I wake up alone and actually enjoy having the bed all to myself, unless the dog sneaks in as he tends to do. I get ready and then wrestle the dog to stay home, because he still doesn't understand why he gets to go to work with Daddy everyday EXCEPT Sundays. So I don't see him until I get to the church hours later and even then its just a short hello as he is practicing for worship, setting up coffee, or as indecisive as my husband is, still tweaking his sermon and I am often preparing for ladies ministry prep, or preparing to be in the children's classroom. When church is over people are usually wanting his attention, and then he is normally the last to leave the building. I then get to see him sometime in the afternoon when he makes his way home, and just long enough for lunch until he passes out for that afternoon nap- He is exhausted. This is the usual layout of our Sunday mornings.

EXTRA SIDE NOTE:

{So to my friends that are Pastors' wives, Sundays can be hard and you may wish that they looked different every now and again, remember just as it is your husbands big day to lay out the morning, remember that it is also an important day for you to show up and support your husband. Your role is huge, if it wasn't it wouldn't be hard. Your husband needs you not only through the week but on Sundays, your support and love. The church needs your serving, loving, and steadfast spirit to lead through your husband.}

The purpose of Sunday Morning is not to just simply tell you about my Sunday mornings, that would get boring, but to bring you into my life and share with you everything that I am passionate about, being the wife of a pastor, being a wife in general, having a rambunctious puppy, upcycling and all my favorite DIY projects, recipes, and adventures. I hope you will subscribe to my blog and join me on this exciting journey!